Apple Festival

For the past two weeks, David and I have been under a great deal of stress. It's shrunk our world considerably, and obviously, made blogging (for me) both difficult and sporadic. Today, to give ourselves a break, we thought we would bundle up the family and head for UBC's annual Apple Festival. I've been twice before, and on a beautiful clear day, as today, there's nothing like ingesting a pound of various apples and apple products over a few hours.

Things started badly when we discovered that the parking had been moved from the "field across the street" to a huge parking complex 2 kilometers away. Although they provided a free therefore infrequent shuttle to and from the event site, we were about 150 people deep in the line-up. If there's anything David hates, it's waiting in line. For anything. Except maybe a Wii. And then he sends me to wait in the line up. If it's not too long. So he doesn't have to wait for me too long. (Kidding, honey. Kidding.)

Finally, we made it to the Apple Festival. Nate took off running in the direction of the crowds. Jake took off running in what can only be described as a "chicken with his head cut off" direction. He refused to go in the stroller. He refused to be carried.

So David and I split up, each following a different kid.

Nate and I hit the Kid's Orchard in record time. Enough time to stand in a line for face painting, a line for craft making, and a HUGE line for balloon art. Nate, for some reason, is not freaked out by the clowns who man these events. I think that's wrong, personally, especially as I was freaked out by the clown's hiked up pants that clearly outlined his "package".

Occasionally, Jake would toddle in and out of my peripheral vision, David dutifully tagging along behind.

Eventually we herded Jake and Nate, whose life was made complete by his balloon sword, to the "adult" section, aka the food and freebies.

$31 on apple chips and $16 on organic juice later, I wondered why I thought things were free. You think those prices are bad? Some vendor was trying to hawk Grandma's Gourmet Apple Jelly in miniscule jars for $12.50 a pop.

Not convinced I had wasted enough of my hard earned money, I decided to stand in line for crepes. (They were playing French music over the loudspeakers, so they had to be authentic, right?)

Jake was off on a new set of adventures, so David left Nate and I to battle the 25 deep line.

Ring! Ring!

Me: Hello?
David: Bad news.
Me: Jake's disappeared, been trampled. What?!!
David: I sort of accidentally ran over Nate's balloon sword. And now the balloon line-up is about 50 deep.
Me: Heh. You're breaking that news to Nate, not me.

Meanwhile, in the air,
Buzz.... Buzzzzzz... Buzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Nate: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! GET IT AWAAAAAY!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!! IT HURTS!!!!!

The rest of the conversation became unintelligible as it rapidly became obvious that one of the 800 bees also attending the apple festival had stung Nate right on the apple of his cheek.

I called Dave telling him to corral uncooperative child 1 so he could come deal with hysterical child 2, as I shelled out $14 for what turned out to be really bad buckwheat (ugh) crepes, while holding off the 25 people behind me who were more than happy to swarm around me to get their equally bad crepes faster.

We called it a day, headed back to the shuttle line up, loaded everyone back into the car, turned up the radio to drown out Nate's sniffles and Jake's screaming fit (apparently you can't walk freely if strapped into a car seat), and decided that next year, we could give the apple festival a miss.

I don't think our stress levels have gone down much. But at least I got some blog fodder.


Face Painting:



Our Wandering Minstrel:



Freaky Clowns:



A Happy Pirate:

I Got a New Gig

Nope. I didn't lose my day job.

I did get a new writing gig over at Bloghers Act Canada. Check out my first post here. I'd really like your feedback, especially if you're into buying organic.

I'm back here tomorrow for your regularly scheduled installment of Grapevine gossip.

Because When You're The Second Born...

Although Jake's official first birthday was Sept 26th, we weren't able to celebrate as I spent the weekend with girlfriends in Whistler. Granted, I couldn't drink, but otherwise, it was a lot of fun. Despite missing Jake's birthday.

Instead, we celebrated Jake's birthday this weekend. 'Cause really, he's none the wiser. I'd even tell you that we didn't bother buying a birthday gift either, but then you might think we were bad parents. (Or Jake might use it as blackmail when he's 14.) However, Jake's Aunt Becky and Uncle Jon thoughtfully mailed off beautifully wrapped gifts, so it looks like we made the effort.

Come to think of it, for Nate's first, we held a cocktail party. I had all kinds of hats and candles and special "1st year" plasticized stuff and invited all our friends over. (But I really can't tell Jake that or he's going to demand a car at 16 to make up for the injustice.)

So here's the cake. Yes, I bought it. From Save on Foods. Yes, I made Nate's from scratch. What's your point? Jake certainly loved it.









The presents? True to kiddie form, the empty box was way more appealing.



I have no idea what's going to pass for the third one's party. Probably a muffin tossed onto the booster tray from a distance.

Mommy-ing 101

I don't sew. I don't knit. I don't crochet. I don't... well, you get the picture.

Me: Natey-Nate, what do you want to be for Hallowe'en?
Nate: A lion.
Me: But you were a lion last year, and the year before that.

And you wore the costume on four different occasions for a sum total of 4 minutes each time before losing your sh*t and demanding to get out of it.

Nate: I wanna be a LION.
Me: Well honey, the costume is too small and I think Jake's going to wear it this year.
David: What about being a pirate? Or a robot? Or a ghost? Or a fireman?
Nate: I WANNA BE A LIIIIIIOON!!! LIKE JAKEY-JAKE!

*** Three Days Later ***

Me: Honey, stop here. I'm going to take Nate in to Old Navy to see if they're still selling those lion costumes.
Nate: Yay! I'm going to be a lion and so is Jakey.
Me: inside store Look Nate, you can be a dinosaur. Or a lamb. Or a monkey. Or a bat. Oh wait, they're out of bat costumes in your size.
Nate: NO!!! I wanna be a LION mommy!
Me: sigh Fine. Let's go.
David: Any luck?
Me: rolls eyes
David: Maybe Walmart has them.

*** The Following Weekend ***

David: Hello?
Me: They don't have any lions. They've got damned elephants, giraffes, tigers, something that looks like a wombat and I swear every other animal from Noah's ark, but no lions.
David: Get him a tiger one. It's close enough; he won't know the difference.

*** An Hour Later ***

Me: Look Nate! Look at what I found for you.
David: It's a lion costume. Here, let's try it on.
Nate: looking highly suspicious It's a lion costume?
David: zipping up the front Yes. It's a very special lion called a tiger.
Me: Let's hear you roar honey.
Nate: Grrowrr! Can I get out of it now?
Me and David: roll eyes

*** Last Night ***

Neighbour: So what are you going to be for Hallowe'en Nate?
Nate: I'm going to be a bat!
Me: &$##@@!!!